How Babywearing Helps Me; A Deaf Mother's Experience

A deaf mother shares her experience with how babywearing affects how she is able to care for her child. 

Babywearing is so very important to me. Why? Because I'm able to know if my baby cries, is breathing, or using her voice. What? Yes, I am deaf. 

I think baby carriers are so beneficial for deaf parents. Sadly, some people think it's dangerous for us to wear our babies because we won't know if they choke or anything like that, which isn't true. 

You know the senses? Smell, touch, hear, sight, taste? Deaf people don't have the hearing sense but have an increase of the other senses, touch and sight. We get to feel all the details. Wearing our babies helps a lot. I don't see how it is dangerous for us to wear them? It is much safer for us to wear them than put them in strollers.. Why? We won't be able to hear them crying or screaming from there. We would have to watch them all the time while pushing the stroller. Keeping them close makes our life easier! AND, it helps them feel safe and comforts them knowing we are not ignoring them on purpose. 

And, a BONUS! --  we get to use BOTH hands to talk! Oh so much easier on us! :) (Picture shown that I got to communicate with both of my hands)

Babywearing is so much a lifesaver for me.. Of course, it is for everyone, but so much for us. #WEARALLTHEBABIES!! 

Growth

WARNING:  Sappy post to follow.

I thought about taking this back to the beginning.  Back to when we had a half dozen people per meeting and a dozen was a really big day.  Back to when we didn't have the giant lending library we have now so each mama who came brought every carrier they owned, whether it was 1 or 10, and dumped them all out on the tables in the room for everyone else to try.  Back when there was room to spread out a blanket on the floor and plop all the kiddos on it.  But that was way too many pictures and I still want the post to be able to load on your computer.  ;-)

My how we have grown.  Even though everything in the intro paragraph may sound wonderful and perfect and ideal to some people -- and it was a wonderful and perfect beginning to Babywearing Around Tulsa -- what we have grown into is AMAZING.  

We have tried new things and made new friends.  We have fund raised and saved dues money and searched hard for good deals.  We have grown an impressive lending library and we shared our message with so, so many parents and caregivers.

We have lived through carrier fads.  ;-) We have worked through different meeting structures and teaching techniques.  We have LOVED getting together every month.

We don't always remember to take a group photo, but when we do they are always an awesome mix of moms, dads, grandparents and babies.  The mix of carriers is always amazing.  

We love that in BWAT wrappers, SSC lovers, Mei Tai enthusiasts and ring sling fanatics can coexist and do so lovingly.  And that its very hard to get a group photo where no one is talking, because everyone loves to talk to each other so much we just can't stop.  

If you want to learn to wear your baby, you are welcome here.  If you have your one beloved wrap and need no other carrier, you are welcome here.  If you want to collect all the pretty SSCs you can get your hands on, you are welcome here.  If you want to learn to carry your newborn, you are welcome here.  If you want to try a preschool size KP for your big kid, you are welcome here (and we have one in the lending library).

Twins, singletons, front carries, back carries, fancy finishes, ring slings, stretchy wraps.....  We work with you to find the perfect carrier for you and your baby.  One of the things that makes BWAT so special is that we know there isn't a one size fits all solution to babywearing and we celebrate our diversity.

The support that this group has provided to so many is invaluable.  I hope I can get to know each and every one of you.  At our current size, I know its virtually impossible, but please know that I value every one of you anyway.   (3000 facebook members, guys!  We have OVER 3000 facebook members.  Can you believe that?  My mind is blown.)

The friendships that have been forged here are strong and deep.  Together we have learned so much and continue to do so.  

Together we grow.

Somer Johnson is a Babywearing enthusiast and Momma to E, a bundle of energy. She is a Babywearing Institue Certified Babywearing Educator.  She is also addicted to cloth diapers and makes and sells wool dryer balls as SomerKnits. Occasionally she also carves out some time to knit, spin or weave - her main pre-baby passions.

I'm New and Lost

Welcome!

Are you new to babywearing?  Or maybe you still haven't found that perfect carrier for you or your child?  There's so many options that it can be a bit overwhelming.  

First what is babywearing?  Babywearing is using cloth to wear your baby or young infant.  This allows you to comfort your child while still being able to get things done, if you so choose hehe.  It ranges from essential for many parents to an art form.  And of course there is always a price range to normally accommodate all budgets.  

Are you semi local to Tulsa?  If not, feel free to email babyweartulsa@gmail.com and we will help point you to the closest group that we are aware of.  Okay so I'm a bit biased but Babywearing Around Tulsa (BWAT for short) is an excellent resource for you to take advantage of.  BWAT has two FREE meetings per month (monthly and mid-month) that cover safety as well as a brief 101 that showcases all the main options you have to wear your baby.  In addition to the free meetings, BWAT also offers small classes on specific topics for a small fee.  Fees go to benefit the group as well as the instructors gas and time.  Likewise private consultations can be done at the discretion of the instructors for an agreed upon price.  

Instructor Somer demoing a Front Wrap Cross Carry (FWCC) during Babywearing 101

But where do I start?  Come to a meeting!  Immerse yourself.  Babywearing (BW/BWing) 101 talks about airway safety, spine and hip development as well as comfort for the wearer.  It also goes over the 4 major categories of carriers: Woven Wraps, Mei Tais (pronounced "may ties"), Ring Slings (RS) and Stretchy Wraps (Moby, Boba, etc), as well as Soft Structured Carriers (SSCs) like Boba, Tula, Kinderpack, Ergo, etc.  A demo of a front carry in each carrier will be shown.  In addition to the educational aspect of the meeting, you'll be given approximately an hour to visit stations and even try on a carrier or two.  Will you walk out knowing which carrier is perfect for you, possibly.  More than likely you'll have a better idea of what you would like to try.

Trying on carriers is great, but I don't think I will know if it's the perfect carrier for me in just 5 minutes?  How right you are!  Only time wearing will really determine if that carrier is your ideal comfort for you and baby.  BWAT has another resource.  We call it a Lending Library.  

What is a Lending Library?  A Lending Library (LL) is basically a library of wraps and carriers for member check out (normally 2 weeks to a month).  A Lending Library is great though, as it allows members to actually see if carriers will work for them before they buy them. Our Lending Library is constantly growing and we are striving to obtain more variety. We'd love any carrier that you would like to donate or any amount that you are willing to give. Donations will be accepted at our meetings or via paypal at babyweartulsa@gmail.com.

What's the cost of membership to the LL?  For BWAT we have a yearly membership cost of $20.  If the carrier is damaged or not returned while it is in the member's possession it is the member's responsibility to replace it monetarily (that's the small print :)). To ensure the ability to charge the member for the replacement or repairs cost we hold either a signed credit card slip or a signed blank check in a lockbox that is only accessible by two leaders; the Librarian and the Treasurer.  All damages and costs will be discussed with you prior to charging you.  However if you fail to communicate in a timely manner you will be charged.

So I'd like to try x carrier, how do I go about checking it out?  BWAT has a large LL however it's also popular.  Some carriers are checked out every chance and others go months between check outs.  To simplify the process for our Librarian we have a digital wait list.  You do not need to be a member before signing up for the wait list.  You can only check one carrier out at a time.  Prior to our monthly meeting Tiffany will tag all members that are up for a carrier (and which carrier).  If you can not make the meeting then the carrier will go to the next person on the list that isn't up for a different carrier.  Yes this means that at times the ninth person gets the carrier.  After 11:30 am at our Saturday meeting the LL carriers that have not been picked up become available to check out to the members at the meeting.  This happens a lot!

So when can I check out a carrier, when is it due, what if I can't make it to the Saturday meeting?  Check outs occur at the monthly meeting as well as our mid-month meeting only.  Most carriers are due back by the next monthly meeting (if you can not return the carrier by the start of the meeting then it needs to be returned to a leader BEFORE the meeting).  Late fees accrue for late (even if it's during the meeting) carriers.  BWAT requires and needs the carriers for members and non members to try on during the meetings so this is important!  No carriers can be checked out before the meeting for this reason.  However if you can't make the Saturday meeting you can see if a carrier you want has been returned or not checked out at the mid month meeting or contact Tiffany about picking up a non checked out carrier from her in between meetings.  Some carriers are on two week checkouts which means they need to be returned at the mid-month meeting.  

So where is the wait list? It can be found here:  http://bit.ly/1r2Vdfz
or if you are mobile: http://bit.ly/ZrSZMm

Now I'm on the wait list and I've been tagged, how do I pay my membership fee?  You can pay by cash, check, or card (for a small processing fee) at the meetings.  You can also PayPal the $20 gifted (friends and family) to babyweartulsa@gmail.com prior to the meeting.
Link to pay for membership via PayPal:

Okay so I'm now a member and this will be my first meeting, what can I expect?  First you'll sign in at the meeting and attend BWing 101 (if you arrive in time).  Next you'll visit the stations and play with the carriers.  You'll fill out our Lending Library Form (for every check out) and turn it in.  You will be verified for a current paid membership as well as a "deposit" on file.  At 11:25am carriers are released to be picked up and a leader or volunteer will check to make sure you are leaving with the correct carrier.  If you need to pay your membership fee or submit a "deposit" a leader will be available to assist you at the meeting.

If you would like to print and fill out the forms to bring they can be found here: http://bit.ly/1o6xMO0 and http://bit.ly/1sw3mpq

Have other questions?  Feel free to post in group.  

Happy Babywearing!

C.J. North is the Babywearing Around Tulsa Treasurer.  She is a Babywearing Institute Scholar working on certification.  C.J. stays home with her 3 kids and manages the allergy and special needs of her family while being overly addicted to research.  In her rare spare time she enjoys crafting, reading, photography, and playing video games.

A New Mother’s Entry into the World of Baby Wearing

“We don’t need to register for bottles. We’re going to breast feed until the baby is two.”

“If the baby is a girl (but I know they’re not), we aren’t going to be doing all the ruffles and baby bling.”

 

“Oh sure, it’s nice that we were given a swing and a bouncer. But we’ll never use them.”

As a first time mom, I’ve spent the past few months eating a lot of crow. Tearfully, I would admit to my mother “Without that swing, I would not be getting any sleep.” I would burst into tears as my husband came home from work and say “I just know she is going to hate me. I had to put her in that bouncer while I showered.” In brief moments of postpartum happiness, I would laugh at the pile of pink and frilly laundry...before tearfully remembering all the thank you notes I had to write. The baby blues hit me hard and all that help I didn’t think I needed became really important.

 

Recently, with my hormones more in check, I had to accept, after a long bout with bizarre and serious breastfeeding complications, that it was okay to stop nursing and give formula, if it meant that I was no longer in pain and could be a more involved mother.

I struggle to think of one area of my life that hasn’t changed, one area that doesn’t involve me doing something I never thought I would do. 

I say all the above to say this: I always knew I wanted to wear my baby. The research about the benefits of close contact, the first hand experiences from mothers I knew and the happy inheritance of a sweet stash of wraps, slings and SSCs really got me amped up. So after I was able to wear clothes that were not pajamas and consider life beyond the couch, I started playing around with my new toys. My daughter was about one month old when I first wore her and though it was anti-climatic (she just kept on sleeping and we didn’t even go anywhere), I felt like a successful mommy. Finally.
 

At first, we used the Moby wrap. I had seen a good video about how to tie and practiced before she was born (although I never thought to wear my cat, like I’ve seen some people do). She seemed secure and never woke up, so it was good for me. The immediate downside of the Moby, the incredible heat, lead me to yearn for a cooler option. Enter the ring sling.

 

Upon making my first local “mommy friend”, I saw that she had a Maya ring sling, like mine. She was able to show me how to get the little one situated and give her a good seat. I loved the freedom and comfort for both DD and myself. So a week later, as she fussed in church, I knew what I could do. I put her in carefully and watched my rails I gave her a good seat and then walked, bounced and danced her around until I realized I could hear the music clearly. She had fallen asleep. Her little head was thrown back and it seemed she was in the midst of fighting her nap when the warmth and security snuck in and lured her to sleep. I tucked her little head closer to me and kissed her. She has been up in her sling many times since and always ends up napping.

 

Since becoming a member of Baby Wearing Around Tulsa, I’ve seen many beautiful carries and heard many great tips. I’ve also developed a curiosity about Tulas that may be endangering my future relationship with my Ergo. I’ve been so grateful, as a new mom, to have such a resource and look forward to all the friendships, advice and stash building to come. I would say that, as a first time mother, one needs very few things that come from the store. What you really need are: mommy friends to support you, information and support about your options and maybe a good ring sling.

 

I wear my baby because it gives us some security and cuddle time in the middle of our day. As my life resumes it’s former pace and I introduce my little girl to the world around her, I am grateful to have that time. Maybe I’ll use baby wearing to help me clean the house. When I start to do that again.

My name is Alicia Kobilnyk. I've always worked with children, except for a brief foray at a Zoo, which can be quite similar. I especially enjoyed teaching toddlers but recently got promoted: to Mama. I'm on my journey into the land of baby wearing, cloth diapering and all the yummy goodness that crunchy motherhood brings.

CotW - Kinderpack Hip Carry

Changing up Carry of the Week a little bit, here is one for you SSC lovers!  Give this quick hip carry a try, you may discover whole new worlds with your beloved SSC or develop a new found appreciation of SSCs in general.  Without further ado, CotW!

 

Hello. My name is Heather and I am a Kinderpack addict. This love was further cemented on Friday at Gilcrease Museum’s Museum Babies program. Had the dude comfortably riding on my back only to learn the museum prefers babies worn in front or hip carries (seems some curious backriding babes were grabbing at priceless art……oops!). Having successfully hip carried numerous times with the Ergo, decided to do the same with my Kinderpack. Worked like a charm and very easy to do!

First unsnap all buckles, slide buckles to maximum length, and push the Perfect Fit Adjusters (PFAS) as close to the buckles as possible.

 

Next, ignore the smattering of toys on the floor and place the Kinderpack around your waist to accommodate a hip carry. Snap the front shoulder strap into back buckle to create a sling. Slide the sling over your head. This makes the seat for baby.

 Insert baby into the carrier. Bring the back shoulder strap around your waist and snap it into the front buckle. Tighten until baby feels secured.

Slide the front, diagonal strap onto your shoulder. Snap the PFAS behind you for additional support and to keep the front, diagonal strap from applying unnecessary neck pressure. Initially, do not be surprised if assistance is needed to buckle the PFAS. It helps to have them out and accessible before you put baby in the carrier. Tighten the front, diagonal shoulder strap as needed.

Voila! You are now successfully hip carrying in the Kinderpack. Happy Babywearing!

 



**Side note - this hip carry can also be done in any SSC where the straps unbuckle.  That includes Ergos and others.

 

Heather Langley is an avid babywearer and proud mom to Rex, age 19 months. She is a Babywearing Around Tulsa administrator and Employment Specialist at Family & Children's Services Women in Recovery program. Heather enjoys spreading the babywearing love, music, reading, and spending time with her friends and family.