Babywearing: Lots of Ups and Downs

We started out on our babywearing journey with an Ergo I found on Craigslist while I was still pregnant with my little man. It was a great carrier and it served us well, but then my son started protesting it. He was never really content if I was just standing around, but things deteriorated until he was crying, running away, or putting it away every time I pulled it out. I thought he was done with babywearing altogether and that made me really sad.

Then I found Babywearing Around Tulsa and read the term knee-to-knee. I googled it and instantly realized the problem. Silly me, before that I thought that an Ergo rated for 45 pounds could actually be used until a child weighed 45 pounds. Once I knew that the Ergo was probably super uncomfortable for my 2 year old I dug out two ancient ring slings I’d been gifted and started trying those. They were not at all ideal for a 2 year old either. (I actually think one of them might be a converted bedsheet.) Caelan did tolerate them for quick ups but they were really, really unsupportive and uncomfortable. I started looking for other options.

I bought a Tula from a sweet BWAT mama and got a quick lesson on SSCs and tried out a wrap. And I was hooked. I started out slow but I’ve collected a stash of several wraps and a wrap conversion Mei Tai. I can’t claim that my toddler was always cooperative- each time we got a new carrier or wrap, I would be sooo excited to try it, And Caelan, with his inconvenient mind of his own, would tell me “No carrier!” or “No, THIS

carrier!” THIS carrier was never the new one I wanted so badly to try on. But we’ve made so much progress. Caelan has gone from refusing all carriers to accepting (almost) all of them. At first he only wanted to ride in front, but he’s willing to do hip and back carries now. And the big one: he tolerates wrapping! Front, back, or hip carries. He often still wants to choose, but I’ll take it. There were plenty of times when I was building that stash that I wondered if he would ever let me use them. My husband was amused at the irony of me having a new hobby that relied on the baby when the baby didn’t like it.

I have no words to describe how happy I am that babywearing is working for us. I hope our story encourages others to keep trying when they hit a rough patch. (I should note: a lot of white chocolate, marshmallows, and highly preferred activities have been used to encourage the little one to go up. It’s worked!)  

Babywearing is one way we can maintain the closeness of our bond as we approach weaning. As a working mom, I’m always looking for ways to connect with my little. Babywearing overall and BWAT has been a really fun way to do that and make friends while exploring a practically unlimited number of cute options.

Wear all the babies!

Lisa is an extended nursing, full-time working, full-time grad student mom of one ridiculously cute 2.5 year old boy. She actually can NOT do it all, but babywearing allows her to almost keep her head above water.

Wherever Ergo, I’ll go: Evolution of a Babywearing Mama

Wherever Ergo, I’ll go: Evolution of a Babywearing Mama






When my daughter was born, I was given several wraps and babywearing items: a Moby, a Maya ring sling, a Seven sling, a custom work-at-home-mom sling and and
Ergo (with infant insert). From my little collection, I chose to begin with the Moby wrap. I’d see a good video online and had practiced before the baby came, although I never thought to wrap the cat. (Pregnancy regrets: #thestruggleisreal). When she was nine days old, I wore her for the first time. She snuggled into the Moby with ease and enjoyed her new nap locale. “Great!” I thought. “She loves being worn already.” Eventually, I came to dislike the radiating heat of the Moby while out and about in the summer. It was like laying belly-first on the surface of the sun. I searched for a new option from my repertoire and reached for the Maya ring sling. A new friend showed me how to wear my little in the sling and I loved it. The baby would sleep on me at church, her little feet sticking out under her round little rump. The catch was that A) she did not want to be worn while awake and B) my husband wanted nothing to do with wearing her  in the sling. He even mentioned that she seemed to dislike it and would offer to carry her for me. I saw this as an attempt to “rescue” my baby from my ill-advised intentions and took umbrage. I know now that he was just trying to give his sleep-deprived wife a few minutes of rest and wanted some of those delicious baby cuddles he missed while at work. Yet the sling worked wonderfully for us for months. It even lived in my car.

As my girl grew bigger and more physically active, she would throw HUGE fits as soon as she realized I was getting her saddled into the ring sling. She wanted to look around, having long since decided my chest was not as fascinating as she had once thought. I tried to do hip carries with her, but she was just not feeling it. Meanwhile, I started to notice that my lower back hurt after a few minutes and chose not to subject both of us (and all of the grocery store patrons around us) to the torture. I resigned myself to putting Little Miss in the cart (#babywearingfail) and tried not to look the other
moms in the eye. It seemed like we’d reached an impasse when I remembered the Ergo. I had
tried to wear her in it a few times when she was little bitty, but the infant insert was like calculus-- Calculus while holding a mad, squirming baby. But now she was over twelve pounds and had perfect head control. It had to be worth a try. I worked on my technique for a quick strap-in and jiggle-to-sleep dance. It took some time. But I persisted. As I grew in confidence and she learned that cuddles can still be nice, it got better. When another friend showed me how to clip the back clip myself, it was no longer an ordeal to wear my baby. It was enjoyable. I’d strap her on at the store, jiggle her to sleep and stroll the aisles, head held high and soaking up the drooly, drooly snuggles. I felt like I
suddenly understood all the mamas who mourn their growing, walking children. I was a complete convert. I felt this would be my pinnacle of babywearing glory. Surely, this was enough for me. So I cannot describe my pure delight when my husband expressed willingness to try carrying our little one in the Ergo. I showed him how to strap in, saddled up the baby and got her situated. I dropped technical phrases like “knee-to-knee” and “seat” to make sure he knew I had done my homework. He stepped back, looking first at his girl calming down and dozing off, then studying his free hands. He wiggled, checking his back for discomfort. Then he looked at me and said “Hey, this isn’t bad at all. Have I reached my babywearing nirvana yet? My high note? I don’t think I have, as I’ve been eyeing some linen and woven wraps on the Babywearing Around Tulsa Facebook page. Maybe I will become a wrapper. Every day, my little one gets better at sitting up unsupported. Soon we will be able to start back carries in the Ergo. I may even get brave and borrow a woven from our lending library. Have I reached the end of my quest for babywearing bliss? Not even close. There will be more carriers, more developmental milestones and more babies to be worn (whether mine or no). I’m
looking forward to a long and beautiful relationship with babywearing. Off to the next great adventure!








My name is Alicia Kobilnyk. I've always worked with children, except for a brief foray at a Zoo, which can be quite similar. I especially enjoyed teaching toddlers but recently got promoted: to Mama. I'm on my journey into the land of baby wearing, cloth diapering and all the yummy goodness that crunchy motherhood brings.

Babywearing After the NICU

I went into premature labor at 29 weeks and gave birth to identical twin girls via emergency C-section at 30 weeks.  My daughters were in the NICU at St John for 89 days.  During that time my husband and I were only allowed to hold them for a maximum of 20 minutes every three hours, though there were many days that we held them less.  

I was very worried that my children would not have a bond with me and I was stressed about bringing unattached children home.  As a former educator, I knew the importance of building trust and attachment in infancy and was extremely worried that we had missed the critical window.  When the girls finally came home, they were miserable.  They cried almost every minute of every day.  I thought I was going to lose my mind.  

Luckily a friend of mine, Ann Bennett, introduced me to babywearing and even gave us a Moby wrap.  I was also able to purchase an Ergo soft structured carrier, and quickly fell in love with babywearing. 

First Time Babywearing

Although I had first thought babywearing sounded strange, I quickly realized that it was truly a life and sanity saver.   Babywearing gave my husband and me a chance to spend time skin to skin with our daughters.  Babywearing allowed us to build an attachment that we had missed out on in the NICU.  Babywearing helped improve our very tenuous breastfeeding relationship (which is still going strong at 15 months!).  Babywearing helped soothe my very colicky, very refluxy girls.  Having twins can be a difficult balance of tending to the needs of both children, who both always seem to need something at the same time.  By babywearing, I am able to meet the needs of both girls without sacrificing my own.  Babywearing made a big difference in making up for some of the losses in the NICU.

Katherine Conner works for Early Head Start and is pursuing a master’s degree in Social Work from the University of Oklahoma.  She and her husband live in Broken Arrow with their twin daughters and two dogs.  In her extremely rare free time, Katherine likes to run, read, and cook.

Babywearing on vacation in Hawaii

Babywearing and Friendship

When I first heard the term babywearing I was very hesitant and didn’t even know where to begin. I was so scared; I know there was no reason for that now.  When my oldest daughter was born I wore her once or twice in a cheap carrier from a big box store and disliked it so much that I just knew that was all there was to offer for babywearing, so I gave up quickly.  When my second daughter was 5 months old I went to The Great Cloth Diaper Change in Tulsa.  I was immediately amazed at all the beautiful carriers and all the different ways all the sweet babies were being worn, but of course I was too shy to ask anyone about them.  Finally when my daughter was 10 months old I decided on what would be my first carrier, a Kinderpack.  And wow, I went crazy from there. I quickly started watching many YouTube videos and purchased my first wrap, Girasol Double Rainbow.  I then joined travelling wrap groups and that right there is how I started making some pretty awesome babywearing friends.  It is amazing how one thing can bring great friends together and you know they will be lifelong friends even though you may never actually meet them.  I have also met some pretty awesome local mommas through Babywearing Around Tulsa and Checotah Babywearing Mamas’ Facebook groups.  We may not see each other all that often but when we do we always have lots of fun just chatting about what we have been up to lately, we also will do the occasional shout out if we see each other while out shopping.

What are some ways that you have made new friends because of babywearing?

Mandi is a mom to two beautiful little girls. Mandi gets to practice babywearing in her home daycare often. In her spare time Mandi loves to be with her family and go to craft classes with her friends.

Disney World, Two Kids and No Stroller

When I first said to my husband we should take our two littles to Disney World without a stroller, he looked at me like I was nuts. ‘No really, it can be done!’ I promised.

I immediately posted in Babywearing Around Tulsa, asking for experiences from others who had done the same thing. I was disappointed when there were as many nays as yays.

So, I kept that to myself and we boarded a plane to Orlando with a 2-year-old in a Kinderpack and a 9-month-old in an Ergo and no stroller.

And it worked out just fine. Below are some of our pictures and a few tips for taking on such a task!

A large theme park with two ages two and under is no small task. And it requires stuff. But maybe not as much stuff as you think. I tend to go minimalist anyway, but for this particular outing I made sure everything I packed was necessary. Refillable water bottles for everyone, sunscreen, a few snacks and enough disposable diapers for the day plus wipes was a much pared-down diaper bag from our usual day-to-day diaper bag filled with cloth diapers, ointments and oils of every kind.  

Ditch the diaper bag. I know, I just said I packed a diaper bag. And I did, I just packed it in a backpack, which is key when you are babywearing and have no stroller. I also utilized all of the little pockets on our carriers and attached my wristlet Baggallini to my Ergo for easy access. 

Bring extra adults. This may not be feasible for every trip, but we had my husband’s parents come along with us. This meant my husband and I could wear the kiddos and grandpa could wear the backpack. If we had not had the extra adults, my husband would have worn the backpack anytime my toddler wanted to walk, which was quite a bit, and I would have worn it on my back with baby on front in between.

Consider the weather. We took our trip to the big mouse’s house in May and we lucked out. The temps were in the 80s at their hottest and it was quite breezy. Even so, babywearing gets warm and we were all thankful for our recently purchased chilly pads. We just wrapped them around the torso of the kiddos when they were being worn. We also scheduled some built in breaks from babywearing: lunch inside and air conditioned shows interspersed throughout the day broke it up nicely. 

Know the rules. Before going, we checked out all of the rides and requirements online. I knew ahead of time that I would be able to wear my son on all of the rides we had picked out, anything that was all ages. Since this was a quick trip for the kiddos, we weren’t concerned with getting on rides that everyone wouldn’t be able to go on. Getting on and off the rides wasn’t an issue either since I was able to wear the baby. My toddler hopped in and out of the Kinderpack and my husband would just buckle the empty carrier back on like a backpack. I’m sure this saved time over searching for a stroller in the stroller park after every ride

Now that we’ve done it, I’ll admit it. I was pretty scared of not having a stroller. But by the end of the trip, my husband and I were constantly noting how in the way all of those strollers crowding the park were, how quickly we could get around and how nice it was to keep moving even though the little guy needed to nurse or nap.

Though it may not be everyone’s style, my husband and I had a blast wearing our babies at Disney World and can’t wait for our next big babywearing adventure.

 

 

 

Lauren Holloman is the proud momma of two kiddos plus a small menagerie of dogs and cats. When she isn't busy chasing two kids who are running opposite directions, she writes, edits and designs. You can read her pet blog at tulsapetsmagazine.com.

CotW - Kinderpack Hip Carry

Changing up Carry of the Week a little bit, here is one for you SSC lovers!  Give this quick hip carry a try, you may discover whole new worlds with your beloved SSC or develop a new found appreciation of SSCs in general.  Without further ado, CotW!

 

Hello. My name is Heather and I am a Kinderpack addict. This love was further cemented on Friday at Gilcrease Museum’s Museum Babies program. Had the dude comfortably riding on my back only to learn the museum prefers babies worn in front or hip carries (seems some curious backriding babes were grabbing at priceless art……oops!). Having successfully hip carried numerous times with the Ergo, decided to do the same with my Kinderpack. Worked like a charm and very easy to do!

First unsnap all buckles, slide buckles to maximum length, and push the Perfect Fit Adjusters (PFAS) as close to the buckles as possible.

 

Next, ignore the smattering of toys on the floor and place the Kinderpack around your waist to accommodate a hip carry. Snap the front shoulder strap into back buckle to create a sling. Slide the sling over your head. This makes the seat for baby.

 Insert baby into the carrier. Bring the back shoulder strap around your waist and snap it into the front buckle. Tighten until baby feels secured.

Slide the front, diagonal strap onto your shoulder. Snap the PFAS behind you for additional support and to keep the front, diagonal strap from applying unnecessary neck pressure. Initially, do not be surprised if assistance is needed to buckle the PFAS. It helps to have them out and accessible before you put baby in the carrier. Tighten the front, diagonal shoulder strap as needed.

Voila! You are now successfully hip carrying in the Kinderpack. Happy Babywearing!

 



**Side note - this hip carry can also be done in any SSC where the straps unbuckle.  That includes Ergos and others.

 

Heather Langley is an avid babywearer and proud mom to Rex, age 19 months. She is a Babywearing Around Tulsa administrator and Employment Specialist at Family & Children's Services Women in Recovery program. Heather enjoys spreading the babywearing love, music, reading, and spending time with her friends and family.

What Do You Do While Wearing?

We are all aware the hands free aspect of baby wearing has SO many benefits to keeping Mom (or Dad) sane and productive. From personal experience here is a brief compilation of all the amazing things that can be done while wearing your baby:

1.       Easily and discreetly nurse a very hungry, grumpy baby in public

2.      Use a public restroom without your toddler rolling around on the slightly damp, toilet paper strewn tile floor

3.      Drink AN adult beverage (AN as in ONE – not promoting any baby wearing binges here, but Mama needs a margarita on occasion!) **

4.       Take your scruffy Chewabacca lookalike dog to get their nails trimmed

5.       Take a long walk on the beach to see who can find the largest seashell

6.       Shovel chocolate laden, hot fudge dripping frozen yogurt into your face

7.       Discover you indeed do have carpets underneath that ocean of toys and vacuum it (success!)

8.       Get your boogie on at the Yonder Mountain String Band Harvest Music Festival (with ear plugs for baby of course!)

9.       Conquer Turkey Mountain and hike to the top of Sparrow Hawk Cliff

 

10.   Oogle your very attractive husband as he prepares you an anniversary dinner while babywearing…..oh wait, I wasn’t the one babywearing….

 

What do you do while wearing your baby????

Heather Langley is an avid babywearer and proud mom to Rex, age 19 months. She is a Babywearing Around Tulsa administrator and Employment Specialist at Family & Children's Services Women in Recovery program. Heather enjoys spreading the babywearing love, music, reading, and spending time with her friends and family. 

**Opinions of the author do not necessarily reflect the opinions of BWATulsa.  BWATulsa is not advocating drinking while babywearing.  Discretion and care should always be taken while engaging in babywearing.  Only you can judge what is safe for you and your baby.